// SUMMARIES ?> A Little Background I’ve worked within the world of email for the last four years. While at work, I listen to a lot of music, and the other day, I was curious about what songs out there include the word “email” (or “e-mail”) in their lyrics. So, I did a little research, and it turns out there are many songs out there that use email. Too many. Below, I’m taking you on a journey through music! From Pet Shop Boys to Kenny Chesney, I’ve picked 20 songs that include email. I pulled up each of the songs in Spotify and then wrote down my thoughts and reactions as I listened to them. As a result, I’m also going to apologize now for having some…disagreeable viewpoints. The Songs 20 – “Email” by Pet Shop Boys Key email lyric: “Send me an email that says I love you.” With an early 2000s electronic beat and lyrics like that, this song makes me think of a romantic teenage comedy like, 10 Things I Hate About You or She’s All That. Do I like it? Sure, but it’s a guilty pleasure. 19 – “Email My Heart” by Britney Spears Key email lyric: “Email my heart and say our love will never die.” From the timeless album, Baby One More Time, this song’s chorus includes that terrible line above. I like email as much as the next person, but don’t put that sentiment in a message and then send it to my personal email account. Use a pen and paper. 18 – “The Medication Is Wearing Off” by Eels Key email lyric: “Step on a crack break your mother’s heart, Red light green light black, Suicide e-mail do not delete, Plug it back in the jack.” Yeesh. Cheer up, my guys! Eels gained themselves a pretty decent following after being included in the movie, Shrek. While the Shrek movies have turned into instant animated classics, I’m not sure Eels have aged as well. This music sounds like a rainy day filled with tears. 17 – “When You Get to Asheville” by Steve Martin and Edie Brickell Key email lyric: “When you get to Asheville, Send me an email, Tell me how you’re doing, How its treating you” I’ll be honest, I like this song. It’s a sad song, and it’s a little confusing, but I still like it. Why is Steve Martin on it? They have an entire album together? That’s weird. 16 – “Missed Calls” by Mac Miller Key email lyric: “Said baby I got missed calls and e-mails, All going into details, About how you just not happy, And you think you gotta leave.” I listen to a fair amount of rap and hip hop, and I feel like I can confidently say this is the most emo rap song I’ve heard in years. These lyrics could be taken out of an Underoath song. I never listened to Mac Miller before this, but I assume all his other songs are the same. I don’t need to hear any more of them. 15 – “Head in the Zone” by Sean Paul Key email lyrics: “Nuff man a foreign a email and a fax you.” Sean Paul! Where am I? Barbados? Man, something about synthesizers and steel drums makes any song feel like the tropics. I could not understand anything Sean Paul was saying aside from “head in the zone” during this song. It’s that Caribbean patois! I still have no idea what that line up there means. 14 – “Bye Bye, Baby” by Alice Cooper Key email lyric: “Bye bye baby, please check your email” You think Alice Cooper still needs to wear makeup? I don’t. I bet you he’s terrifying as-is. The only thing I can think of when I hear Alice Cooper is that scene in Wayne’s World when he’s telling Wayne and Garth about the meaning of Milwaukee. Anyway, even Alice Cooper has fallen prey to the trope of substituting an email for a real letter…don’t be like him. Email is good for telling people about the sale on your website, not for expressing love. 13 – “Feels Like Summer” by Weezer Key email lyric: “I’m spiritual, not religious, I’m a Libra, if it matters, Shattered by an email, Your words will fade away.” Man, I used to LOVE Weezer! I’ve seen them live at least twice! I’m pretty sure all Weezer songs are written from the perspective of a sad 14 year old boy. I shared this song with a friend of mine and he said: “It’s amazing how long Weezer’s been able to churn out garbage and still get people to listen.” He is not wrong. 13 – “Boston” by Kenny Chesney Key email lyric: “She comes from Boston, Talks to her family now and then, Through e-mails and postcards” I have never listened to Kenny Chesney before, so I had no idea he’s basically “new-country Jimmy Buffett.” This song has some chill bongos in it, so there’s that. It’s about a girl from Boston who just needed to get away from the typical rat race things like “education” and “occupation.” She also has baby dreads? 12 – “Berlin Got Blurry” by Parquet Courts Key email lyric: “Emails, poems, slogans on example, Of three things I can’t unify.” Have you been to Berlin? It’s great! I highly recommend going there. I think this song is about partying while on tour with a band in Europe. This is a song that I would listen to in my free time. 11 – “Chevy Express” by Deer Tick Key email lyric: “Credit cards, Email alerts, Cash to the win.com” This song makes me think of a rundown area in rural West Virginia. Like…a dead coal mining town? I’m not sure why, but I also feel like Deer Tick would be ok with me painting that kind of picture in my mind. 10 – “Everybody’s on the Phone” -by Jimmy Buffett Key email lyric: “I think that I might die, If I miss anything at all, text me, send me an e-mail, ring me up, give me a call.” You see, people? You do not need Kenny Chesney, you got Jimmy Buffett out here cranking out all the tunes you need for ordering cheeseburgers at an all-inclusive Cancun resort! If you can’t tell, Mr. Buffet is being sarcastic. All you really need in life is cool vibes, tasty waves, and a pina colada in your hand. 9 – “The Go in the Go-For-It” by Grandaddy Key email lyric: “My farewell e-mail reads: “Farewell to thee, I’ll pass through your world with ease, Like wind blowin’ through the leaves.” Now, this is another song that I have heard before and like, however, do you ever like a song without actually looking into the lyrics and meaning? I read the song lyrics today and immediately felt bad for Jason Lytle. This could have been written by Eels. Also, like love messages, do not write a “farewell” email. 8 – “Live the Life” by Rod Stewart Key email lyric: “You wrote it in your email that you’re sad and lonely ’cause a girl in college has stolen your heart” Rod Stewart is dishing out life advice FOR FREE, people! You know what? I liked this song a lot more than Kenny Chesney. I’m not sure what that says about me, but there it is. Maybe I’m a Rod Stewart fan and I had no idea until today. 7 – “Analog Man” by Joe Walsh Key email lyric: “Sign on with high speed you don’t have to wait, Sit there for days and vegetate, I access my email, read all my spam, I’m an analog man.” Man, Joe, I feel you! The pace at which technology and the world around us is accelerating at unprecedented speeds. That being said, don’t read all your spam, man! Do you open all the junk mail in your mailbox? You do not. 6 – “Gettin Up” by Q-Tip Key email lyric: “Sent you a message, sent you an email, hasty decisions, we may still prevail, both needed breaks, both needed to bail.” Man, Q-Tip is awesome. To be honest, the lyrics to this are ok, but the outfit this man wears in the music video—that is the real treasure here. Q-Tip is wearing windows, a raccoon hat, some sort of marching band jackets, khaki shorts, and boots to get things started, but he moves on to like 5 other outfits. Another thing about this video: it has nothing to do with the lyrics. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to reconnect with his ex, and this video is just a bunch of costume changes. 5 – “Call Yourself Renee” by Okkervil River Key email lyric: “You live in a hotel, you wait for a phone call, you wait for an email, You look out the window at a tree, weighted down with snow” I think this is the first song on this list that’s clocking in at over 7 minutes. And it is a sloooow 7 minutes. I liked Okkervil River in 2005 because they had the song “For Real” with a good video. This song isn’t too bad, but it feels like the type of song that you’d hear in the background of a very pretentious coffee shop or independent bookstore. Also, the singer sort of sounds like he’s crying. 4 – “Put Up Your Hands” by AlunaGeorge Key email lyric: “I got a million emails in the box, Unread, from you, What you’re trying to do? I gotta sail, the ship sailed, But you got your head confused.” Don’t even try to email AlunaGeorge a million times! She’s not even reading those things because the ship has sailed! You should probably implement a better sunset policy! Zing! I think she’s saying “Put up your hands” to tell this person to stop typing messages. Man, sometimes music makes me feel very old and very out of it. I only know AlunaGeorge because of Disclosure. Listening to this song is one of those times. AlunaGeorge’s most popular song (You Know You Like It) has been streamed 266 million times, and yet not one of those streams is from me. :’( 3 – “FanMail” by TLC Key email lyric: “Said I got an e-mail today, Kinda thought that you forgot about me, So I wanna hit you back to say, Just like you? I get lonely” I got into an argument with a friend once about which song is better between “No Scrubs” and “Waterfalls.” I’m happy that I now have the platform to inform them (and anyone else reading) that No Scrubs is, in fact, the best TLC song out there. This song’s not bad either, and you know what? They get extra kudos for having a little message icon in their album art. 2 – “Black Screen” by LCD Soundsystem Key email lyric: “Been saving e-mail trails, Kept together, I read them back sometimes, To remember” Man, this song is quite a bummer. When looking for the lyrics of this song, I came across a review that said James Murphy (singer/mastermind) wrote the song after David Bowie’s death. Oof. This song is ok, but it’s over 12 minutes long! I’ll be honest, I was itching to skip it after just 3, but I held on. I am a huge LCD Soundsystem fan, and that’s really the only reason this song is this high up on the list. 1 – “Bug a Boo” by Destiny’s Child Key email lyric: “I wanna put your number on the call block, Have AOL make my email stop, ‘Cause you a bug a boo, You buggin’ what? You buggin’ who? You buggin’ me!” I mean, it’s Destiny’s Child. What’s not to love about this song? Also, if you think I’d go against the Bey-hive in anyway, you’re crazy. The AOL definitely dates this lyric, but come on, who HASN’T had a “bug-a-boo” situation in the past? Wrapping Things Up How was that?? Do you agree with me? Do you think my takes are bad? Do you have an email song that you’d like me to review for you? You can let me know what you think of everything on Twitter @duff_warren. Email doesn’t always have to be all about best practices, delivery tips, or benchmark metrics. 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